I will now promptly delete myself from your phone. Please come back later.
I peed on the neighbor's dog. Desired Answer: "Great. Do you have someone else you could reach out to?
Something chocolate wouldn't hurt either. Why don't we have your people contact my people, and we can do lunch sometime. Stay home. But, you know, this is all just a suggestion. Tell yourself you don't care. Truth: You messed up really bad.
Perhaps the second-best feeling to an actual orgasm is someone making you laugh so hard you think you're going to pee. I took the liberty of planning the entire evening starting with crustaceans from the lobster shack and ending with a private helicopter ride.
I guess I can add this conversation to that list. Read: I need to judge whether the crowd is worth my attendance or if I can stay homewatch gkrl episode of "How to Get Away with Murder" and eat my face off until I pass out. My horoscope said today would have unsuspecting challenges.
I didn't realize you were such a poet. Truth: I hit on a few chicks who wouldn't recognize my face and drank more bourbon than you would have tolerated. Here are the 12 indirect phrases girls text and what they really mean. I'd girll you what you're wearing, but I'd rather picture you naked.
Truth: You've gotten really lame since you got a boyfriend. You are special. What happens next: You go out and you don't regret it.
I will now promptly delete myself from your phone. I made zero eye contact the entire time. Your name appearing on my screen just gave me a boner that will guarantee the survival of humanity.
What happens next: Major gossip points. What happens next: You go out and you don't regret it. What font should we use on our wedding invitations? Actually, don't. You're coming out, no excuses.
What happens next: Major gossip points. I don't care where this happens or in what order. Desired Answer: "I know. You did nothing wrong.
By Elite Daily Staff. The worst part about text messaging also happens to be the best: We're able to manipulate our words to indirectly ask for what we want. Are you still on your parents' phone bill? Beep, beep. Let's play the quiet game. Careful, you're auto-text is going to be all X-rated. Nothing turns me on like perfect grammar.
Desired Answer: "I am obsessed with you. If you've been seeing someone for a while or are just hitting it off with a new cutie, having a similar sense of humor can make everything better — especially sex.
Play with me! For an introvert, you're surprisingly good at sexting.
What happens next: Everyone wins. I have to cancel, indefinitely. Play with me! Desired Answer: "I know.
Desired Answer: "Not at all. Though you may always have your cell phone on you, you may not always be in the mood to swap Soing messages, so whether you're trying to shut it down or turn it up, these witty responses to sexting are sure to make your date happy, horny, or some combination of both. Desired Answer: "I am obsessed with you. You're the Shakespeare of sexting.
I'll be there right away, baby.