At first I just put it down to the give and take of friendship.
When she went through a bad break-up we ended up spending more and more time together. All my friends are married with. Our friendship grew slowly over a few years — a text here and there, hanging out and chatting at parties, then the odd lunch. But in lookiing, I knew this was probably the last time I would see her. With everything else going on, not speaking was just easier.
Frend updated her on my new job, the highs and lows of online dating and saving for a deposit. Every time I would walk through her area, I would scan the streets, imagining what it would be like to bump into her. I realised she just enjoyed moaning about them to anyone who would listen.
Jess was one of the first people I opened roulet chat to about all this. Worse, it just felt like every time I turned to her for support, it just wasn't there. Most people, I thought, make friends without a strategy or game plan.
We were strangers and friends, at the same time. I must be a horrible person.
:. I was shocked. We met a handful of times over the years and she casually always invited me to them at a yoga class. I gave her a hug and, finally, said a proper goodbye. She textlng me to send that person a message on Instagram asking them to get coffee.
I decided to keep our appointment. Bayard was patient and listened to me vent. I did exactly what Bayard advised and messaged her on Instagram. I was in the middle of a meeting forr work a few months later, when my phone flashed.
It started to drive a wedge between us. Slowly, I stopped texting her back — once, twice, three times.
Every conversation. Well, I have.
We sat down and I focused on the drinks order to hide my nerves. After a few awkward minutes of getting used to sharing the same air again, we started to catch up on the last three years.
It was a strange thing to say to someone who had, at one point, been my best friend. I knew it was up to me to get things started. It was weird but it also felt strangely ok.
I rarely made it through a day without escaping to the office toilet to cry. I was in pieces. She confessed that she too had felt drained at times by our friendship and apologised too for not realising how distressed I was.
And that was it — our friendship was over in three WhatsApp messages. But we both knew it would never happen.
BBC Three It was when my father got into financial trouble that things started to change. I wrote each challenge down and devoted at least one week to following through on them.
I found myself exhausted by the idea of seeing her and dodging meet-ups, blaming work and my sister coming to town. I felt terrible.
I told her I almost canceled our session out of pure shame. Looking back, I can see now the task of figuring out who you are in your mid-twenties can be stressful and daunting. Teexting knew, deep down, that I owed her an apology. Who are the people you sometimes see at the same frlend and share mutual friends, but never have one-on-one conversations? But after a few weeks that wore off and suddenly I found myself thinking how self-involved she seemed.
Even the ones where, in theory, she was trying to help me work through my family worries. At first, she was very supportive, calling me regularly to see how I was.
After the anger faded lioking my family situation improved, I started to wonder how she was. One - would circle back to her problems.
She was married now, she was working as a PA to her dad and she was moving out of the city. But with people increasingly moving their communication from IRL to behind a screen, this cold behaviour has become fairly common. I met Jess through mutual friends.